wHO DID THIS.
It would be cool if everyone telling me to build a positive relationship with my cousins abusive boyfriend would realize the obvious fact that in doing so I would just be enabling his behavior. Trying to act kind and be nice to someone that is negatively affecting the life of someone I care about very much would just be like ignoring his actions all together.
It’s like people are so used to blaming their situation on someone else that they forget they can’t do that to everyone else. Deciding that if the person who is actually causing the problem won’t change then everyone trying to help the situation has to work around them is SO counter productive it’s ridiculous. The person at fault should be the one to rise to the occasion, and only the appropriate amount of courtesy should be given to them until they do. Whenever I make this argument though, everyone tells me that I should be doing it for my cousin, because it’s what she wants and it would make her happy, but nobody seems to understand that’s just as bad, because she’s already convinced herself that nothing is wrong, and if other people start pretending the same, then there’s no one else who needs convincing.
I am kind to everyone, unless they give me a good reason not to be, and being a horrible person to me cousin qualifies as a reason.
He transformed the pain of his tormented life into ecstatic beauty. Pain is easy to portray but to use your passion and your pain to portray the ecstasy and joy and the magnificence of our world, no one had ever done it before. Perhaps no one ever will again.